From The Front Desk To Your Desk...

Tuesday, February 14, 2006


The internet can be pretty cool. In the perfect society, we could use the internet to communicate across distances and to break down barriers like race and culture that traditionally have been hindered by things like language and flags and national pastimes. I can learn about the history of Cypress and use this experience to take apart my own innate and completely human misinterpretations and misconceptions about the region and craft a better, more informed world view. A child in Moscow can learn to read English, or French, or Portuguese and become the greatest writer his adoptive language has ever known. Folks of a political bend – be they premieres or presidents, abortion activists or save the whales saboteurs – can take the bully pulpit and speak to the people, waiving their banners for all to see. Inner city kids can learn about Da Vinci, hillbillies can stream the Berlin Philharmonic, and enterprising do-it-your-selfers could find out how to reassemble the garbage disposal.

Unfortunately all we seem to use it for is porn and downloading music.

These are of course very important functions of society, and I would challenge anyone to find me a civilization that failed to become great when porn and music were so readily available. It’s impossible I tell you.

In our modern world I can find out nearly anything about anything with a high speed connection and a few clicks of my mouse. Notice I said nearly everything. The problem with the internet is that it’s just too damn big, but it’s not so big as to encompass the sum total of all human knowledge. And when I say some total I mean everything. Not just the history of American Apple farming, but the phone number for Mr. Cho’s, the Business faxes for awning companies in Berlin, and all manner of miscellany.

It’s a cruel joke really. We assume that in this age of information we can go online and find out anything we may want to know, and while there have been some great advances in collecting and codifying Everything, we aren’t quite there yet. And that means that when the net does fail us, when after 10 to 15 minutes of active searching and googling you are still not getting the answer to your most recent burning question we have no flipping clue what to do next. If it’s not on the internet, it must not exist. If it does somehow exist and it’s still not showing up in an online search, then it must not be worth knowing, right?

Apparently not, or so my boss tells me. Apparently when she asks for some bit of information – be it a phone number or an address or a product name - , she doesn’t want to hear that it doesn’t exist regardless of what Google says. So here’s the question: in a world where we aren’t just addicted to the net but dependant on it for answers for simple every day questions, what the hell are we supposed to do when it falls short?


Blogger lucygreene76259365 said...

Do you want free porn? Contact my AIM SN 'abunnyinpink' just say 'give me some pics now!'.

No age verification required, totally free! Just send an instant message to AIM screen name "abunnyinpink".

Any message you send is fine!

AIM abuse can be reported here.

6:32 PM

Anonymous Charles said...

Oh now look what you done gone and did, Master Bolish. Just by uttering its dark name, the internet hath reached up and slapped back.

There's no defefating it. Skynet is now.

But I'd recommend start making some calls - check the phone books if you're looking for numbers, and then maybe places you can look up public records.. the government perhaps? DMV? Not sure. At any rate, I'm off to start up an AIM conversation with a new friend! Ta-ta!

8:39 AM


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